One of my most frequent customer questions relates to weight loss products. Some honestly don't know the side effects of the "medications" and are genuinely grateful when I speak the truth and steer them away from the hype. I've had a few people say, "Ewww. Glad I asked. I definitely don't want that. " I'm all about promoting our store and providing business, but weight loss "aids" are not products I'll push.
Let's begin with Alli. Also known as "Eat that hamburger and you're gonna shart your pants."
It's designed for those already on a reduced calorie/ exercise regimen and need help getting over that plateau. It keeps your body from absorbing fat in your diet. Buuuut that fat's gotta go somewhere. Krispy Kreme sounding good tomorrow morning? Hope your bathroom at work isn't tied up. You're gonna be knocking down the co-worker for stall #3. The brochure actually lists rectal oily discharge as a side effect. I'll take wearing elastic waistbands any day over rectal discharge, thank you very much.
Don't even get me started on these hoochies. Of course they don't have personal trainers! Could've fooled us!
HCG - The same substance that's in a pregnant woman's urine that makes the test positive. It releases the fat supplies in the body to be used as calories when combined with a restricted caloric intake (only 500?!?! calories a day). So you want me to starve myself and inject/take liquid/swallow pills that could make a pregnancy test positive??? Sounds like a bad April fool's joke for Casey.
Here's the dealio. These weight loss aids are hype. Straight up hype. I had a friend come ask me about a kit she bought. There was the morning pill, then the night pill, then the focus mid-afternoon pill. All for the value price of $150 for a month supply.
She could have saved her money and bought a case of Mountain Dew and some laxatives.
Are you ready for the magic potion in most diet aids? It's so simple it's scary. Caffeine and laxatives. So you can frantically tear that toilet paper into tiny lil shreds with your nervous jittery energy while you sit on the pooper.
I don't mind when customers ask me about the weight loss products. They need to know the truth. I do mind when they get an attitude and say "Weeeeell, if you just had to pick a product, what would you pick?" None of them. "Weeeeell, so what am I supposed to do?" Eat less and exercise. It's simple but hard at the same time. We all need to do it. It's straight up, hard core, willpower. I'm working on it. I'm still a novice. It's the truth no one wants to hear, but it's the safest. I don't want to worry about developing a heart arrhythmia from caffeine overload. Or becoming dehydrated and stressing my kidneys out from laxatives.
So the next time that one customer doesn't heed my advice and picks up Kim K's newest product, I'm going to point them in the aisle of the Depends. You're gonna need it, girlfriend.
